Teenage Pain

Urban Monk's recent post reminded of how hard my teen years often were. This past year I have achieved some significant healings as I have gone back to those times and asked Jesus to heal and free me.

Yesterday before church, while I was talking to my friend Michael, I got choked up as I remembered an experience in the youth group at my church in New York. I walked away from my conversation with Michael not wanting to deal with the memory. Thank God the Holy Spirit brought the memory back to me as I entered into worship. As I entered His presence He brought me back to that painful teenage experience where I was shamed by my pastor for making a mistake that cost the church about $35. As I flashed back the Lord spoke to me and said that my pastor sinned against me. Words cannot express how free I felt when He spoke those words to me. His words set me free to speak words of forgiveness for that pastor. As I did I felt a release from the pain of the memory. It amazes me because I had gone back to that memory many times and couldn't experience freedom until the Lord spoke truth to me.

Maybe healing can only come when He speaks to us and helps us to process our pain through His eyes of redemption. Maybe that is what this scripture is, in part, all about:

So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." (John 8:31-32)

5 comments:

  1. The truth does set us free, doesn't it? I was struggling with some things recently and when I finally just turned my focus to the pages of my bible - the truth - I was set free for awhile.

    Thanks for the verse!

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  2. Hi KB,

    Good post. I am so glad you had such a powerful experience yesterday!!!

    Unfortunatley, I believe there is a lot of hidden pain in the lives of many teens. Its an age that some people feel very alone even if they are surrounded by family and friends. Its hard to know who to trust with issues that are so frightening or personal or seemingly "strange". Teens usually don't have the life experience to determine what is safe to share, and what isn't.

    I don't fully understand how "the truth can set us free" because just knowing the truth doesn't always release the chains of bondage or the pain of past abuse or the wounds from words inflicted with evil intent. I wish it were that easy, a lot less people would carry their burdens from the past into the present.

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  3. Hey KB..

    Thanks for the link, good post.. what stands out to me here and in your comments at my blog is that we need God ( holy spirit/jesus) to speak to us. Hes the only one that can do it deeply enough to effect real freedom for people that really are broken on the wheels of living. ( as Harbour of ourselves so beautifully put it)

    Good one!

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  4. In God's time can be hard sometimes. He was waiting for the right moment for you and possibly for someone else who read this.

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  5. I find it amazing how much memories, good and bad (but probably more the bad), have power over us.

    When I can't let something go, I've often thought of it as my own failure to fully trust in God. And that's true.

    But thank you for your words, KB. I think that they point to the path for stepping into the trust. Hearing God's words, God's truth about the memory leads to trust leads to freedom.

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