Flowing with Weakness

This past week has been a week of weakness. My wife Ann and I are both physically, emotionally and dare I say spiritually weak. Ann had a relapse of Multiple Sclerosis last weekend and once again ended up in a wheelchair - where she now she sits receiving the IV steroids that I prepared a few minutes ago. My heart in writing is not to elicit pity or sympathy or even prayer ... I just want to share my struggle with you. Times like this always draw my attention back to what Paul wrote:
If I have to boast, I will boast of what pertains to my weakness.

Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me--to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 11:30, 12:7-10)
I think that this kind weakness is something that often looks like desperation. It is the kind of thing that really brings you to the end of yourself and to the beginning of faith. I have to admit that I do not feel strong spiritually right now. I am forced to trust the Lord in a way that I have had to do on several other occasions. I am again reminded that I can only flow with the Spirit at a heart level ... I can only be at peace when I give up control of this situation ... I now feel that I am preaching to myself ... reminding Bob of past instructions from the Lord ... remembering that my job is to flow with this and not fight against it ... remembering how God once told me that I cannot manage my life like a project because that is His job.

So here I am ... trying to flow with this weakness that envelops me ... remembering Paul's words about weakness and about true strength ... receiving that sufficient grace. I am encouraged when I think about another scripture:
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth Does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, And to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary. (Isaiah 40:28-31)
So, I will wait upon the Lord ... he bravely says ... maybe waiting is really waiting ... thinking that maybe new strength can only come when old strength is exhausted. So, for now, we will wait on the Lord, flowing with God in this weakness, waiting for our strength to be renewed. It is what He has promised.

10 comments:

  1. KB, I'm sure I am just one of many, many people who are lifting you and Ann in prayer. We cherish you.

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  2. Dear Bob and Ann:
    You always lift my faith by what you say through your trials. This is all so short compaired to eternity! What a joy it is to know you two.
    Our love and prayers go with you.
    Jerry and Marvale

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  3. Bob, thanks for sharing and thanks for leaving a note in my blog. I read that massive dialog in the YBMT site and i must say those guys were slamming you. I was starting to be tricked by that whole universal salvation thing...but i must say its a lie of demons. So i want to encourage you Bob...you got a friend in me.

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  4. Thanks all for praying.

    And thanks for the note Jason. I enjoy what you have to say ... your candor and honesty reminds me of Matt at From the Morning I hold nothing against the folks at YBMT? They were just speaking out of their past bad church experiences. I still visit there but probably won't be sharing at a heart level any time soon

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  5. KB,
    I know you didn't ask for prayer - but I was moved to pray for you and Ann. Wow, this has been a rough week for you.
    You said:
    "I can only be at peace when I give up control of this situation"

    That is one of the keys to peace isn't it? Sometimes it's a moment by moment process, letting go over and over. I pray that this coming week is much better and that your joy is restored to full capacity.

    But if not, its okay to feel down. It happens.

    Barbara

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  6. Praying for you and your wife because we bear one another's burdens.

    B~

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  7. Bob,
    I’m still praying for you and Ann. You’re, even in a hard time still an anchor for some of us. Thank you for you strong hold on the Lord and being able to share it with us.

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  8. Praying still for you, Bob. That scripture has held me up many times.
    I'm sorry you and Anne are going through this.

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  9. My heart breaks for you. There is something so special about the heart of you have the Lord.

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  10. Hi Bob,

    When we are too weak and sad to hang on to Him, He is faithful to hang on to us. I know He is hanging on to you and your wife now. God is Sovereign and whatever seems to be out of control for us is well within His control.

    Pam

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