with devotion

The Lord blessed the latter days of Job ...

And the LORD restored the fortunes of Job, when he had prayed for his friends. And the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before. Then came to him all his brothers and sisters and all who had known him before, and ate bread with him in his house. And they showed him sympathy and comforted him for all the evil that the LORD had brought upon him. And each of them gave him a piece of money and a ring of gold. And the LORD blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning. (Job 42:10-12 ESV)

I love the way that Job's story ends. He forgives and prays for his friends. He is healed. His fortunes are restored. Sometimes we get a second chance at life after grief. You know it was funny how Ann and I met all over again. We had been acquainted for almost 20 years but had not seen each other for about five years. One day we, by chance, ran into each other at a sidewalk sale in south Kansas City. I wrote this poem at the onset of our courtship.

Love at Second Sight

What drew me to her I do not know.
Spirit? Soul? Flesh? A mystery to me still.
On that day I saw her again ... for the very first time.
Could this be love ... at second sight?

That day was bright ... my heart was dark.
Her skin was fair ... my soul was heavy.
A spark ignited and my spirit soared.
Could this be love ... at second sight?

The summer passed and fall had come.
My mind wandered still to that that day in June,
When my heart was touched by her lovely smile.
Could this be love ... at second sight?

As grief passed and courage grew,
I saw her again and then I knew ...
That my heart longed to know her heart.
Could this be love ... at second sight?

Mourning exchanged for joy.
Loneliness turned into happiness.
Feelings I can neither explain nor express.
Could this be love ... at second sight?

Time goes on and passion grows.
Where we'll go ... who really knows.
My heart and my mind yet question still ...
Could this be love ... at second sight?
When you are experiencing hardship, and wonder if your trial will ever end, it is good to remember Job. How God was faithful to him. How God blessed the latter part of his life more than the first. Do not lose heart. God does care and He has a purpose and a plan for your life. Open your eyes and begin to see your situation with eyes of redemption. Know that He can and He will redeem your darkest times and most difficult situations to give you beauty for ashes.

You have brought beauty from ashes in my life Lord. He me to remember this beauty when I am in pain.

I have uttered what I did not understand ...

Then Job answered the LORD and said: “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. ‘Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you make it known to me.’ I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42:1-6 ESV)

These words had to have been music to divine ears. Job has come to himself and the relationship that he once had with God is being set right. Are there more beautiful words in all of literature than these? Words of repentance are the most majestic ones in any language. Job's words embody the phrase "I am sorry" and speak to the deep way that his dialog with God has changed him. In the end only God can bring beauty out of the ash heap of our pain and our grief.

I find myself today in such a place. This month marks the fifth anniversary of Ann's horrible physical relapse that placed her in a motorized wheelchair. As I look back over the years I find that my theology of healing and of pain has substantially changed. I think that this change has caused my relationship to God to be healthier - I do not obsess as much about things that I have no control over. That said, I still long for God to appear to me the way that He did to Job.

Like Job, I often utter what I do not understand Lord. I repent. Open my eyes. Help me to see you.

Will you even put me in the wrong?

Will you even put me in the wrong? Will you condemn me that you may be in the right? (Job 40:8 ESV)

Our story is coming to a close. God is questioning Job. He has asked him questions that have only divine answers. This question is a bit more personal. When the story began Job was stuck in a season of denial and spoke things that seemed religiously correct. Back then it was written that "In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong." Then denial ebbed and deep emotions surfaced. Not understanding what was going on Job said condemning things.

It is so easy to lash out at God when we suffer great loss - especially if we have a certain view of divine sovereignty. If our view is narcissistically man-centric then we most certainly will see God as being involved in everything that happens to us. In this view the world revolves around us. But if we can get outside of our little world, for even a moment, we will see that divine sovereignty allows but does not cause things to happen to us. It is hard to see when we grieve.

Help us to see you Lord as the One who causes even bad things to work together for our good.

I lay my hand on my mouth.

Then Job answered the LORD and said: “Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you? I lay my hand on my mouth. I have spoken once, and I will not answer; twice, but I will proceed no further.” (Job 40:3-5 ESV)

There is a time to be still and know that He is God. This is such a time for Job. God has confronted him and showed him that he is unaware of what is happening all around him - life is going on even though Job hurts so much. It is a difficult to hear of such things when we are so focused on our loss. In such times we need to be made aware that life is more than our pain. Sometimes it is so helpful to get outside of ourselves and direct our attention elsewhere.

As God speaks from the whirlwind Job is beginning to understand that his anger directed at God has not been a healthy way to vent his grief. Many times in deep anguish we speak hurtful words - things that leave our mouths that we can never get back. When we are confronted our first reaction is to make excuses like Job does here. We are tempted to write off our actions because we were grieving. But, even in grief, God requires more of us.

You Lord did not leave Job alone in his pain. Thank you for being faithful to correct us even when we grieve.

The LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind ...

Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind and said: “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Dress for action like a man; I will question you, and you make it known to me. “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements—surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? (Job 38:1-5 ESV)

I think that this is one of the oddest passages in all of the bible. It is one of the few times that God visits man in this fashion. I wonder what the whirlwind experience was like? Did God speak audibly (the narrative seems to indicate that he did) or were the words perceived by the hearers in their minds? On the flip-side I wonder if the author of Job took literary license and presented the words of the Lord in a context that readers could readily understand?

I love how it is said that "the Lord answered Job" but He never really answered any of the questions that Job asked Him. Interestingly God rhetorically speaks of laying the earth's foundations and challenging Job to understand what only the Almighty can perceive. In all of God's soliloquy (which goes on for chapters) I hear him asking Job to simply trust the One who created and sustains all that we can see. Yet trusting God in times of grief is no easy task.

You are the Almighty. The Creator of all things visible and invisible. Help us Lord to trust you in times of trouble.

He burned with anger ...

Then Elihu the son of Barachel the Buzite, of the family of Ram, burned with anger. He burned with anger at Job because he justified himself rather than God. He burned with anger also at Job's three friends because they had found no answer, although they had declared Job to be in the wrong. Now Elihu had waited to speak to Job because they were older than he. And when Elihu saw that there was no answer in the mouth of these three men, he burned with anger. (Job 32:2-5 ESV)

There is a very good chance that Elihu is the author of the book of Job. He is the only one mentioned in the book that details his ancestry. He has been waiting to speak and has heard everything that Job and his friends have said - perhaps he was taking notes? As he has listened to his elders speak passion has surfaced from his gut. He cannot understand why these do not understand why all of this has happened to Job. He spends the next six chapters venting.

In some sense grieving is very difficult to understand when we are young. The lessons of age often (but not always) provides us with a context to deal with loss. As we age we experience the loss of grandparents and then parents. We learn to grieve because we have to. Those who are younger, like Elihu, do not have that context and express deep emotions when bad things happen - and sometimes their anger is misdirected at those who are hurting the most.

Help us Lord to know how to be content with unanswerable questions. Teach us to be comforters and not accusers.

I cry to you for help and you do not answer me ...

God has cast me into the mire, and I have become like dust and ashes. I cry to you for help and you do not answer me; I stand, and you only look at me. You have turned cruel to me; with the might of your hand you persecute me. (Job 30:19-21) My skin turns black and falls from me, and my bones burn with heat. My lyre is turned to mourning, and my pipe to the voice of those who weep. (30:30-31)

Sometimes life can seem so unbearable. Often in these times we pray and we pray and nothing seems to change. Job has now been talking to his friends for some time and the weight of his grief seems as heavy as the moment that they arrived to be with him. In each soliloquy he offers Job seems to speak of how God seems to be so far and how the Lord seems to be against him. It can be so hard when we grieve and our prayers are unanswered.

Some time into his ministry John the Baptist was arrested by Herod and cast into jail. As time passes John wonders why the one who proclaimed freedom to prisoners had not come to his cell to set him free. He sends his disciples to Jesus and they return with this message from Christ: "blessed is the one who is not offended by me". It is a hard but necessary message to hear when we hurt, grieve and our prayers are unanswered.

Help us Lord to not be offended at You when our prayers are unanswered.

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