I believe in God’s power to heal—by miracle and by medicine. I believe it is right and good to pray for both kinds of healing. Cancer is not wasted when it is healed by God. He gets the glory and that is why cancer exists. So not to pray for healing may waste your cancer. But healing is not God’s plan for everyone. And there are many other ways to waste your cancer. I am praying for myself and for you that we will not waste this pain.In my youth John’s words would have been a bit controversial because I approached healing from a Charismatic Fundamentalist perspective. Back then I embraced a theology that said that it was always God’s will to miraculously heal and I thought that to entertain something other than healing when you prayed was being double-minded. That kind of theology is problematic for several reasons:
- It reduces God to Santa Claus. It predetermines God's answer based on our desires. It puts us in charge and makes God our servant.
- It makes prayer a spiritual formula to be chanted instead of a conversation to be had with a close Friend. This kind of prayer stifles transparency in prayer and keeps us from connecting with God at a heart level.
- It enables the denial of reality and keeps us from dealing with our pain. It keeps us in hiding and causes us to not get help.
- It blocks wisdom and clouds our decision making process. I know of people that have gone off insulin, delayed surgeries and avoided doctors in the name of miracles and healing.
- It causes us to judge rather than help. This is the dark side of this theology. It relegates sick and hurting people to those who are either faithless or sinful.
- It has is a narrow perspective of trials and tests. It doesn't embrace and help the many people in our church communities with chronic illness and pain.
- It offers a false hope and sets people up for disappointment. The vast majority of people who pray for healing are not healed miraculously.
I started having some kind of hum in my head but didn't think much about it. By the next morning, though, I had full blown jet engine noise on the left side of my head, static in the middle, and ringing on the right. If you want an example, go drive your car outside some mega air conditioning unit, open the door with the keys in the ignition so the ringing starts, and tune your radio to a static state. That would be it. 24/7.Does this sound like the writings of a sick woman? Not hardly! Oh, that we were all this healthy ... that we would walk out God's will with transparency and vulnerability. In retrospect maybe that is what, in part, God's will is all about ... being healthy in spite of sickness and pain. Something to think about.
I found out that 20% of people with tinnitus that drives them crazy started out with getting hit with it suddenly like this. That percentage of people are often totally disabled, unable to keep a job, marriage, etc.
I'd end up on my knees, pleading with God to make it stop, weeping, slobbering prayers; considering suicide because I felt worthless to everyone, including myself.
I started ministering to people with tinnitus; and found that I was "habituating" it more rapidly than they were, or still are as I write this. Some are still under very expensive treatment to try to get where I got in a relatively short time. I thought...what is different between them and me? Why am I surviving this better than them?
I praise God that He has brought me out of bondage with this. The noise is still as loud. It annoys me a lot. But it doesn't devastate me. Please pray for these other folks....that they will let Him in to cause a change, to give them peace. Now, it's my time to minister to them.