What I am hearing is not that you hate your LIFE, but that you hate what your BODY is doing to you and its consequences. Unfortunately, when things go way wrong with your body then it seems like it is your whole life. In my mind, that is not only normal, but if you didn't feel that way, something would be seriously wrong. I don't think the Scriptures that say to "give thanks in all circumstances" mean you must always enjoy what you are experiencing or not feel depressed. When Jesus was in the garden, I think he HATED what was happening to him and how he was feeling, too. He wept....repeatedly. He was so wrought with emotion, blood beaded up on his forehead. When he looked for comfort from his best friends, they were sound asleep. When he prayed, he asked that the future be different, knowing all along that it wouldn't be.Thanks Mike! This is such wise and compassionate counsel. Could not have said it better.
Hating what is happening, wishing it were all different, being disappointed at how those around you are dealing with your circumstances...Jesus felt and experienced all those things and the remarkable thing is that God never once chastised him for having those feelings. It's okay to be completely poured out and drained. What God hopes and expects from us is that when we get to our lowest, we will simply do what Jesus did and talk to Him - honestly, openly, and with complete sincerity about what you are feeling.
On being completely poured out and drained..
Sometimes someone says something that is so healing and life giving. Following is such a thing. It was written in an email by a guy named Mike to my blog friend Jill Hollis whose body is being ravaged daily by an evil disease called ALS.