My conversion to Christ in April of 1976 was immediately followed by a crazy spiritual experience that was accompanied by a receiving of the gift of speaking in tongues. I remember, like it was yesterday, that night at a large church in Houston Texas. It was the day after I quietly surrendered my life to Jesus … no one had a clue what I had done in the quietness of my heart that Saturday night in a Houston hotel … but here I was in church on a Sunday night caught up in worship for the first time in my life. I remember we were singing a chorus from the Andre Crouch song "My Tribute". We were repeating the verse "To God be the glory" … I was in a state of surrender … singing my heart out … entering a most holy place of worship … then I came to the realization that I was not singing in English … I was totally freaked out. This was the beginning of the wildest ride of my life.
Three months later my wife and I moved to Kansas City and began attending a small evangelical church. I enjoyed the new friendships I was developing at church but missed the worship that I experienced in Houston. Then one Sunday night in the spring of 1977 I attended a large charismatic church in Kansas City Kansas. Oh my, what a service … once again I found myself lost in worship … waves of God's Spirit seemed to flow over and through me. After several months of Sunday nights my wife and I became convinced that the large church was right where God wanted us to be … in June we began attending there full time.
The following 18 years of my spiritual journey were immersed in the ministry of this large church. I taught Sunday school, led small home groups, was an overseer of small groups and established close relationships with many people … the church and the pastor’s teaching became a party of my spiritual identity. For most of those 18 years I was involved in the prophetic ministry of the church … several times a month the Holy Spirit would speak a message of encouragement through me to several thousand people … looking back on this it was quite surreal. I became know as a prophetic person … being prophetic also became part of my identity.
Life was good for most of these years … kids came along … joyous family times were the hallmark of this time in my life. My wife and I had a wonderful relationship. If you asked me I would have told you that the priorities of my life were, in this order, God, family, church and work. I was absolutely identified by the roles in my life. I loved being a Christian, a husband, a father, a church leader, a prophet of sorts, and a computer programmer. These roles gave me so much joy and made my life meaningful. Life was good.
In March of 1990 my life fell apart. My wife of 19 years had a heart attack and kidney failure. In the following four years my whole life’s focus was caring for her. Everything else I was doing, ministry-wise, was stopped … I slowly died on the inside. It was during this time that I began to be confronted by the legalism that surrounded me and lived deep within me. For years I had thought of myself, in a Christian sense, as a ‘Charismatic’ – both in theology and in practice. I considered myself to be this ‘free’ person. I distained legalism and specifically the word ‘religious’ because I identified myself as a ‘Spirit-filled’ person … someone who was led by the Holy Spirit certainly could not be legalistic.
It was like yesterday, I was entering the parking garage at work … I became aware of the fact that I had ‘parking garage rules’ … I had a logic scheme by which I chose a parking spot … I was crushed by the idea that ‘possibly’ … ‘maybe’ … I wasn’t led by the Spirit in this part of my life … in hindsight it is pretty amusing but it was just the beginning of my awakening. As I continually prayed for my wife she got weaker and weaker … and my frustration got stronger and stronger. My children began having problems in school … they too were dealing with a deepening grief about their mom’s health. All the while I was being forced to change – I hated it … all of the things in life I thought that I had figured out were unraveling before my eyes … everything that was important to me was falling apart. I was dying on the inside and in May of 1994 my dear wife of 23 years died.
The past years had taken a toll on our family … my 14 year old son, my 10 year old daughter … and me … we were all devastated at my wife’s death. We all expected her to get well … that is what we prayed for … I believed in healing and miracles … I even prayed for a resurrection when my wife breathed her last. The aftermath of her death found my son medicating with drugs, my daughter struggling with identity issues and me dealing with a broken theology. I increasingly became aware of how much I had been led by principles and precepts. Subconsciously I had developed a complex internal system of rules and logic concerning life. These of course were all based in scripture and encompassed words like ‘authority’ and ‘submission’. For years I lived the life of a ‘Charismatic’, ‘led by the Spirit’ Christian when in truth I was more like a Fundamentalist.
One encyclopedia defines a “fundamentalist Christian” as “a Christian who holds the Bible to be infallible, historically accurate, and decisive in all issues of controversy that the Bible is believed to directly address”. On the surface this really seems to be a good thing … and possibly for some people this is the correct way to express their faith … but for me it was not. Fundamentalist thinking brought out the worst in me. I took an exclusive and legalistic approach to the bible. This approach bred an arrogant attitude towards people who didn’t see the scripture the same way I did. When my wife was sick the arrogant attitude began to give way to glimpses of humility. I was humbled when meals came into my home from friends at church for 10 weeks. Coping with hospitalizations, doctor’s bills (from 40+ doctors), hemo-dialysis, and a boatload of medical problems brought me to a place of breaking … I didn’t want to let go of my legalistic ideas and practices but had no option … I could no longer maintain and feed the on stuff that once brought my ego such satisfaction.
The 10 years after my wife’s passing have brought many changes in my life. One major theme in these years has been one of control. You know that ‘control’ is a major battlefield for one trapped in legalistic thinking … it is all about ‘control’. That brings me to the end of 2002 … I had remarried and my new wife was going through an intense health crisis that involved paralysis … I was besides myself once again when the Holy Spirit began to speak to me. He spoke to me about life and living … about letting go and flowing in life instead of controlling … He said that life isn’t something to be managed like a project but something to be lived. I still find it difficult to let go and not control but I am making progress. I take job assignments these days that have clear boundaries. I honor the choices of my adult children even when I don’t agree with them.
The events of these years have convinced me that the letter kills but the Spirit gives life. I have learned that there is a difference in being right and righteous … one can have absolute truth about an issue but be absolutely wrong in their application of that truth if they are not truly led by God’s Spirit. These past few years have also taught me that you take very few things with you when you die and one of them is relationships with fellow believers.
I try to love more these days but I am always confronted with how little I seem to care about people. Just when I think that I am really making progress I find myself withdrawing into a protectionist attitude. You know loving ... God-like loving ... always gets us out of our comfort zone ... always challenges us to the core. God-like loving is not natural and cannot be accomplished using a set of precepts or rules. God's kind of loving is so different than man's kind of loving. God's love is what it is all about ... and we can't love people when we are rules concious. I am convinced that Jesus was all about showing us love in a way that man had not seen before. Possibly when, like Jesus, we are moved by compassion for others we will step outside of our comfort zone ... and walk in His love rather than our rules. That is my prayer for you and my prayer for me. Amen.
Why Obey The Commandments?
The following is excerpted from an e-mail message that I got from my neighbor and friend John Gilman. I love what John says ... he cuts through the religiosity ... his writing is insightful and helpful ... enjoy.
In my last letter, I said about love: “Why else ‘be a living sacrifice,’ or ‘submit to one another,’ or ‘let yourself be wronged?’ Well, actually, there are other reasons why people obey the commandments. Here is one of the most amazing statements in the Bible:
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” (I Co13:1-3)
Giving everything to the poor and sacrificing your life for some other reason than love? That’s hard to believe. These are great things! And they amount to nothing? That’s even harder to believe. But, and this is so critical, if we don’t love, we are nothing! We gain nothing! The Apostle John said:
“Anyone who does not love remains in death” and “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (I Jn 3:14 & 4:8)
These love claims are not little hyperbolic asides by Jesus and the Apostles. They make their main point, we are to: Love God completely, love our neighbors and ourselves rightly, and love some fellow apprentices as Jesus loved the Twelve. Obedience is supposed to be an _expression of this love.[i] Faith is supposed to express itself in love. Love is the most excellent way. Love is greater than faith and hope. With love we shine like the stars, we have the very nature of God. With love we are perfect like our heavenly Father. And the Greatest Commandment is…?
I grew up in a church of people who were trying to keep all God’s laws, including kindness, justice, and responsibility. A child is far better off in a society of laws than in a lawless one and I am thankful for those people.[ii] And I am thankful for the laws that kept me out of harmful pits of stupidity like: abandoning my family, or addictions, or affairs, etc. However, if love becomes just one or two of the laws we keep, than the laws can be obeyed for other reasons such as: pride, acceptance, self-justification, prestige, fear, and on. We can pray because we’re supposed to, or because of love. I used to be kind, out of obedience; now, hopefully, I am kind out of love. Often the giver and the receiver can feel the difference. Ask my wife.
I have always tried to love and much of my obedience was motivated by love. But many years ago, at a men’s conference, I was envisioned with the importance of “obedience” and I told God that by his grace I would obey him. That, coupled with a positive experience in the military, meant obedience became the goal, and love became a few of the commands I was trying to obey. I marched home from the conference with the Marine slogan, “perfection is our basic minimum” ringing in my head, and immediately assaulted my loved-ones with a perpetual pressure for perfection. The laws of God became both a blessing and a curse, a blessing because of the attempt to deal honestly, kindly, justly, etc. A curse because my obediently patient perpetual pressure for perfection meant everybody (including me) was always failing. Usually I was obediently-patiently-kind about their failures, but obediently-honestly-clear in pointing out their failures. God began correcting my miss-guided zeal by revealing “grace” to me, which was a huge step up. Then God revealed his definition of perfection to me. And now I’m praying that my obedience will hang on love, like fruit on the vine.[iii]
Dear Father, help us love your love. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
John—a worker in the harvest.
[i] I concede the circularity here—we are to love out of obedience and obey out of love—but the emphasis is correct and can be clarified, I believe, through an argument that is too long for this letter.
[ii] Many, although they may not be able to articulate it, are living lives of love. Their obedience has resulted in the adoption of love into their lives. Wittingly or unwittingly, they have become lovers of God and man. Their inner compass pointed toward God’s love, they asked Jesus into their heart, and they’ve sailed that direction ever since, reaching, one by one, the shores of heaven. Every time I see them I want to kiss them. My mother was such a one, and early Wednesday her sturdy craft bumped ashore and the One-Who-Is-Love greeted her with a smile saying, “Perfect!” Far behind her, her family follows her long straight wake.
[iii] "You have heard that it was said, `Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Mt 5:43-48
“Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.” I Co 13:8-10
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” Jn 15:8-12
In my last letter, I said about love: “Why else ‘be a living sacrifice,’ or ‘submit to one another,’ or ‘let yourself be wronged?’ Well, actually, there are other reasons why people obey the commandments. Here is one of the most amazing statements in the Bible:
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” (I Co13:1-3)
Giving everything to the poor and sacrificing your life for some other reason than love? That’s hard to believe. These are great things! And they amount to nothing? That’s even harder to believe. But, and this is so critical, if we don’t love, we are nothing! We gain nothing! The Apostle John said:
“Anyone who does not love remains in death” and “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (I Jn 3:14 & 4:8)
These love claims are not little hyperbolic asides by Jesus and the Apostles. They make their main point, we are to: Love God completely, love our neighbors and ourselves rightly, and love some fellow apprentices as Jesus loved the Twelve. Obedience is supposed to be an _expression of this love.[i] Faith is supposed to express itself in love. Love is the most excellent way. Love is greater than faith and hope. With love we shine like the stars, we have the very nature of God. With love we are perfect like our heavenly Father. And the Greatest Commandment is…?
I grew up in a church of people who were trying to keep all God’s laws, including kindness, justice, and responsibility. A child is far better off in a society of laws than in a lawless one and I am thankful for those people.[ii] And I am thankful for the laws that kept me out of harmful pits of stupidity like: abandoning my family, or addictions, or affairs, etc. However, if love becomes just one or two of the laws we keep, than the laws can be obeyed for other reasons such as: pride, acceptance, self-justification, prestige, fear, and on. We can pray because we’re supposed to, or because of love. I used to be kind, out of obedience; now, hopefully, I am kind out of love. Often the giver and the receiver can feel the difference. Ask my wife.
I have always tried to love and much of my obedience was motivated by love. But many years ago, at a men’s conference, I was envisioned with the importance of “obedience” and I told God that by his grace I would obey him. That, coupled with a positive experience in the military, meant obedience became the goal, and love became a few of the commands I was trying to obey. I marched home from the conference with the Marine slogan, “perfection is our basic minimum” ringing in my head, and immediately assaulted my loved-ones with a perpetual pressure for perfection. The laws of God became both a blessing and a curse, a blessing because of the attempt to deal honestly, kindly, justly, etc. A curse because my obediently patient perpetual pressure for perfection meant everybody (including me) was always failing. Usually I was obediently-patiently-kind about their failures, but obediently-honestly-clear in pointing out their failures. God began correcting my miss-guided zeal by revealing “grace” to me, which was a huge step up. Then God revealed his definition of perfection to me. And now I’m praying that my obedience will hang on love, like fruit on the vine.[iii]
Dear Father, help us love your love. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
John—a worker in the harvest.
[i] I concede the circularity here—we are to love out of obedience and obey out of love—but the emphasis is correct and can be clarified, I believe, through an argument that is too long for this letter.
[ii] Many, although they may not be able to articulate it, are living lives of love. Their obedience has resulted in the adoption of love into their lives. Wittingly or unwittingly, they have become lovers of God and man. Their inner compass pointed toward God’s love, they asked Jesus into their heart, and they’ve sailed that direction ever since, reaching, one by one, the shores of heaven. Every time I see them I want to kiss them. My mother was such a one, and early Wednesday her sturdy craft bumped ashore and the One-Who-Is-Love greeted her with a smile saying, “Perfect!” Far behind her, her family follows her long straight wake.
[iii] "You have heard that it was said, `Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Mt 5:43-48
“Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.” I Co 13:8-10
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” Jn 15:8-12
The Cultivator
This morning in church, as I was lost in worship, I saw a picture in my mind. I first saw a picture of a very beautiful yellow flower ... as I looked the vision seemed to pan out and I saw a golden haired young woman kneeling before the planting ... crying as she toiled ... working the soil with her hands. I then began receiving a few words which I wrote down ... here they are:
These words are so appropriate for today, Mother's Day. If you are a mom then please take these words of encouragement to heart ... your children appreciate the tears, the words and the deeds that you have cultivated into their lives.
The Cultivator
I saw her bowed down before a glorious planting of flowers,
Hands in the soil, tenderly working the roots with water and her hands,
Her flowers are beautiful, her plantings prosperous,
All she plants does very well and nothing withers in the sun,
The Lord has given her favor because she is faithful and a lover of God,
Stooped down, she has taken the position of serving and intercession,
With humility of heart and conviction of soul she is a mighty force,
She is The Cultivator. She is Mom!
I saw her bowed down before a glorious planting of flowers,
Hands in the soil, tenderly working the roots with water and her hands,
Her flowers are beautiful, her plantings prosperous,
All she plants does very well and nothing withers in the sun,
The Lord has given her favor because she is faithful and a lover of God,
Stooped down, she has taken the position of serving and intercession,
With humility of heart and conviction of soul she is a mighty force,
She is The Cultivator. She is Mom!
These words are so appropriate for today, Mother's Day. If you are a mom then please take these words of encouragement to heart ... your children appreciate the tears, the words and the deeds that you have cultivated into their lives.
Beauty for Ashes
Don't you love happy endings? Do you believe in a happy ending for yourself? I am sure that Job never thought the day would come … perhaps you are in a similar situation. I have seen many of my trials turn into blessings. I am reminded of the messianic prophecy that tells us that the Messiah will "comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve". He will "bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair". It says "They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor".
In the months following my wife Ellen's death God spoke to me often. One day as I was praying God said to me "I am sending you a Ruth". You know I really can't describe the emotions that went through my mind … a kind of disbelief that anything so wonderful could happen to me … Ruth was the epitome of a woman.
Well, later that year, God brought Ann into my life. In many ways she was nothing like what I expected in a woman but in every way she was a Ruth. Our courtship was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I experienced levels of joy that had escaped me for so long … Ann made me feel so young and alive. I had such little understanding of how much of a blessing she would be to me. We were married in the following year. For the last ten years I can say, with Job, that the Lord has blessed the latter part of my life … with a wife that is a servant in the best sense of serving … a woman who's inner beauty and integrity are matchless … and a sister who loves God.
You know it was funny how Ann and I met all over again. We had been acquainted for almost 20 years but had not seen each other for about five years. One day we, by chance, ran into each other in front of The Dime Store in Kansas City where she was shopping and I was just happening by. I wrote this poem at the onset of our courtship.
Love at Second Sight
What drew me to her I do not know.
That day was bright ... my heart was dark.
The summer passed and fall had come.
As grief passed and courage grew,
Mourning exchanged for joy.
Time goes on and passion grows.
You know when you are experiencing hardship, and wonder if your trial will ever end, it is good to remember Job. How God was faithful to him. How God blessed the latter part of his life more than the first. Do not lose heart. God does care and He has a purpose and a plan for your life. Open your eyes and begin to see your situation with eyes of redemption. Know that He can and He will redeem your darkest times and most difficult situations to give you beauty for ashes.
In the months following my wife Ellen's death God spoke to me often. One day as I was praying God said to me "I am sending you a Ruth". You know I really can't describe the emotions that went through my mind … a kind of disbelief that anything so wonderful could happen to me … Ruth was the epitome of a woman.
Well, later that year, God brought Ann into my life. In many ways she was nothing like what I expected in a woman but in every way she was a Ruth. Our courtship was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I experienced levels of joy that had escaped me for so long … Ann made me feel so young and alive. I had such little understanding of how much of a blessing she would be to me. We were married in the following year. For the last ten years I can say, with Job, that the Lord has blessed the latter part of my life … with a wife that is a servant in the best sense of serving … a woman who's inner beauty and integrity are matchless … and a sister who loves God.
You know it was funny how Ann and I met all over again. We had been acquainted for almost 20 years but had not seen each other for about five years. One day we, by chance, ran into each other in front of The Dime Store in Kansas City where she was shopping and I was just happening by. I wrote this poem at the onset of our courtship.
Love at Second Sight
What drew me to her I do not know.
Spirit? Soul? Flesh? A mystery to me still.
On that day I saw her again ... for the very first time.
Could this be love ... at second sight?
That day was bright ... my heart was dark.
Her skin was fair ... my soul was heavy.
A spark ignited and my spirit soared.
Could this be love ... at second sight?
The summer passed and fall had come.
My mind wandered still to that that day in June,
When my heart was touched by her lovely smile.
Could this be love ... at second sight?
As grief passed and courage grew,
I saw her again and then I knew ...
That my heart longed to know her heart.
Could this be love ... at second sight?
Mourning exchanged for joy.
Loneliness turned into happiness.
Feelings I can neither explain nor express.
Could this be love ... at second sight?
Time goes on and passion grows.
Where we'll go ... who really knows.
My heart and my mind yet question still ...
Could this be love ... at second sight?
You know when you are experiencing hardship, and wonder if your trial will ever end, it is good to remember Job. How God was faithful to him. How God blessed the latter part of his life more than the first. Do not lose heart. God does care and He has a purpose and a plan for your life. Open your eyes and begin to see your situation with eyes of redemption. Know that He can and He will redeem your darkest times and most difficult situations to give you beauty for ashes.
Identity
The older I get the more I am convinced that life is an intense struggle of identity. Listen to what the Apostle Paul pens in his letter to the Galatians:
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:16-21)
The big news of the last few weeks has been of the capture of the alleged BTK (Bind, Torture, Kill) killer in Wichita, Kansas. The man captured was a church-going one ... even a leader in his church. When the story broke many in his community were in a state of shock. How could this be? Over the years I have bumped into a few people who, in retrospect, seemed to have lived two different lives. There was the outward, church-going, side and an inward, perverse, side. The outer life looked good but no one knew the sickness they battled on the inside.
The scripture above seems to speak of this duality. In some sense we all have this inner battle of identity ... we are all tempted in some way ... and sometimes we give in to temptation. So what is the difference between us and those, like the alleged BTK killer, who seem to have gone off the deep-end. I suggest that it is one of identity. In the last few years I have noticed that often when I am tempted to sin I find myself thinking "that is not who I am' ... "I am not a lust-er" ... "I am not a worrier" ... you get the idea ... fill in the blanks for yourself. I don't think that it is a matter of psyching myself up or convincing myself I am something I am not. I think that, somehow, I have built an identity with Christ through the Holy Spirit. Here what Paul writes in his first letter to the Corinthians:
Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (I Corinthians 6:9-11)
When we think of ourselves we can either identify ourselves as sinners or as ones that were cleansed of our sins and set apart for God's work. It is a matter of identity. Many in the church today refer to themselves as 'just a sinner saved by grace'. I wonder if by saying these things we have trained ourselves to identify as sinners and not new spiritual creations. Possibly by doing this we have quenched the Holy Spirit's influence in our lives. Hear now what God says of you through the Apostle Peter:
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. (1 Peter 2:9)
As believers our identity is a noble and holy one. I think that if we live in that reality we will struggle less when we are tempted.
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:16-21)
The big news of the last few weeks has been of the capture of the alleged BTK (Bind, Torture, Kill) killer in Wichita, Kansas. The man captured was a church-going one ... even a leader in his church. When the story broke many in his community were in a state of shock. How could this be? Over the years I have bumped into a few people who, in retrospect, seemed to have lived two different lives. There was the outward, church-going, side and an inward, perverse, side. The outer life looked good but no one knew the sickness they battled on the inside.
The scripture above seems to speak of this duality. In some sense we all have this inner battle of identity ... we are all tempted in some way ... and sometimes we give in to temptation. So what is the difference between us and those, like the alleged BTK killer, who seem to have gone off the deep-end. I suggest that it is one of identity. In the last few years I have noticed that often when I am tempted to sin I find myself thinking "that is not who I am' ... "I am not a lust-er" ... "I am not a worrier" ... you get the idea ... fill in the blanks for yourself. I don't think that it is a matter of psyching myself up or convincing myself I am something I am not. I think that, somehow, I have built an identity with Christ through the Holy Spirit. Here what Paul writes in his first letter to the Corinthians:
Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (I Corinthians 6:9-11)
When we think of ourselves we can either identify ourselves as sinners or as ones that were cleansed of our sins and set apart for God's work. It is a matter of identity. Many in the church today refer to themselves as 'just a sinner saved by grace'. I wonder if by saying these things we have trained ourselves to identify as sinners and not new spiritual creations. Possibly by doing this we have quenched the Holy Spirit's influence in our lives. Hear now what God says of you through the Apostle Peter:
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. (1 Peter 2:9)
As believers our identity is a noble and holy one. I think that if we live in that reality we will struggle less when we are tempted.
The Antidote for a Hard Heart
The writer of Hebrews speaks to us of the importance of encouragement:
See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. -- Hebrews 3:12-13
In this passage the writer tells us that the antidote for a hard heart is encouragement. The Greek word, translated encourage, is 'parakaleo' - it is one of my favorite Greek words. In John's gospel Jesus calls the Holy Spirit "Comforter" which is a translation for 'paracletos' - a similar Greek word . Both of these words communicate a deep sense of coming along side someone to comfort them, strengthen them, rebuke them and teach them. These words encapsulate encouragement.
I find it interesting that these verses seems to define leadership differently than the way I once thought of leading ... leading from the side and not the front or back. I guess that is really what encouragement is all about ... walking with someone ... holding their hand as they go through some difficult stuff. My wife has been such a person for me ... believing in me ... hanging in there with me ... helping me see that the glass is more full than empty. I believe that the Holy Spirit not only encourages us directly but at times He becomes an encourager through other people.
The verse warns us that our hearts can be hardened, sinful and unbelieving if we are left to ourselves. Being in close relationships with caring brothers and sisters sets our hearts free to be soft. When we share our pain, our disappointments and our fears with them we make ourselves available to be encouraged. Another verse in Hebrews speaks also of encouragement. It reads:
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching. -- Hebrews 10:25
Again we see the writer using "parakaleo" ... urging us to not just see each other on Sundays but walk with each other ... open our hearts to each other ... and to give and receive God's gift of encouragement.
See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. -- Hebrews 3:12-13
In this passage the writer tells us that the antidote for a hard heart is encouragement. The Greek word, translated encourage, is 'parakaleo' - it is one of my favorite Greek words. In John's gospel Jesus calls the Holy Spirit "Comforter" which is a translation for 'paracletos' - a similar Greek word . Both of these words communicate a deep sense of coming along side someone to comfort them, strengthen them, rebuke them and teach them. These words encapsulate encouragement.
I find it interesting that these verses seems to define leadership differently than the way I once thought of leading ... leading from the side and not the front or back. I guess that is really what encouragement is all about ... walking with someone ... holding their hand as they go through some difficult stuff. My wife has been such a person for me ... believing in me ... hanging in there with me ... helping me see that the glass is more full than empty. I believe that the Holy Spirit not only encourages us directly but at times He becomes an encourager through other people.
The verse warns us that our hearts can be hardened, sinful and unbelieving if we are left to ourselves. Being in close relationships with caring brothers and sisters sets our hearts free to be soft. When we share our pain, our disappointments and our fears with them we make ourselves available to be encouraged. Another verse in Hebrews speaks also of encouragement. It reads:
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching. -- Hebrews 10:25
Again we see the writer using "parakaleo" ... urging us to not just see each other on Sundays but walk with each other ... open our hearts to each other ... and to give and receive God's gift of encouragement.
Religious Pollution
Do 'religious people' make you angry? You know those people who seem to love the rules but don't seem to love people. I must confess that they do make me angry. They made Jesus angry too. Listen to what Mark records in his gospel:
Another time he went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, 'Stand up in front of everyone.' Then Jesus asked them, 'Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?' But they remained silent. He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, 'Stretch out your hand.' He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored.
Deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts? Stubborn hearts? Could that be the definition of a 'religious person'? Someone with a stubborn heart? That is way to personal for me. I want to look at this story and interpret 'religious people' as those who do not have compassion ... probably because I think of myself as a somewhat compassionate person ... but stubborn? This is not going at all the way I wanted it to - this was supposed to be a commentary on those religious self-righteous people who lacked compassion - not about 'stubborn people'.
When you come down to it we are all stubborn in one way or another. We get locked into our positions or thinkings and have a difficult time when Jesus shows up and wants to do something that doesn't fit into our theological paradigm. We can, like those religious people of Christ's day, cause distress and anger to our God when we refuse to work with Him and bring healing to the hurting. May He redeem our stubbornness and bring us to a place of humility, brokenness and compassion and make us religious people in the best sense of religion:
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. -- James 1:27
and also keep oneself from being polluted by stubbornness :)
Another time he went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, 'Stand up in front of everyone.' Then Jesus asked them, 'Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?' But they remained silent. He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, 'Stretch out your hand.' He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored.
Deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts? Stubborn hearts? Could that be the definition of a 'religious person'? Someone with a stubborn heart? That is way to personal for me. I want to look at this story and interpret 'religious people' as those who do not have compassion ... probably because I think of myself as a somewhat compassionate person ... but stubborn? This is not going at all the way I wanted it to - this was supposed to be a commentary on those religious self-righteous people who lacked compassion - not about 'stubborn people'.
When you come down to it we are all stubborn in one way or another. We get locked into our positions or thinkings and have a difficult time when Jesus shows up and wants to do something that doesn't fit into our theological paradigm. We can, like those religious people of Christ's day, cause distress and anger to our God when we refuse to work with Him and bring healing to the hurting. May He redeem our stubbornness and bring us to a place of humility, brokenness and compassion and make us religious people in the best sense of religion:
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. -- James 1:27
and also keep oneself from being polluted by stubbornness :)
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