Church Speak

About 20 years ago ... when I had finally shed most of my Brooklynese ... I began to realize that I still spoke two different English dialects. I spoke one flavor of English when I was around my church friends and another whenever I was around everyone else. I began then to try to synthesize these two dialects into one that could be used regardless of who I was talking to. It wasn't too hard around non-church folks but a bit different for my church friends. Thanks to Bruce and Bob for the link to this one minute video that captures this struggle of language in a very funny way.

Maybe, if we try very hard, we can all eliminate words like these from our vocabulary:
  • Christian: why not use believer?
  • Saved: why not say believed in Jesus?
  • Salvation: why use it at all?
  • Repentance: isn't change good enough?
  • Eucharist: how about (holy) communion?
You get the idea. Maybe you can help us and comment with a few other alternatives to "Church Speak". I need all of the help that I can get.


  1. This is CLASSIC!!!!! Thanks for sharing it here!

  2. Heh! My husband has two accents. One Pennsylvania one Oklahoma. Yous’all. That was a fun video.

  3. You got it Bob!
    Thank you for being a minister in such a humble fashion. I can always count on you for wisdom and thought provoking stuff.
    You rock!

  4. Hey KB - that was fanTAStic! In a "funny because it's true" kind of way.
    Eschatalogically Yours,
    Andy B.

  5. Great vid, KB!

    Hey I got a few:

    Fundamentalist: Biblically conservative

    Begotten or beget: the father of

    Tongues: other languages

    Sanctification: The help of the Spirit for our growth.

    Just a few...

  6. hermeneutics
    I dislike these three words with a passion; they are bantered about to impress. Plus, they're dang hard to pronounce! Any thoughts on rewords? :-D

  7. Funny.

    I wish we could reinvent "church" as a word and a concept.

  8. That's a great parody of the original commercials -- but it makes a much better point. Thanks for sharing!

    - Matt

  9. church membership/community
    church service/ party
    benediction/ "See ya!"
    sovereign/ (good word, but in keeping with KB)Big, big God.And every time I hear that, I imagine angels asking,"Would you like to supersize that belief?"

  10. This is one of my favorite vids...I've used it in church before and it always gets a laugh.


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