I Don’t Need A Boyfriend

I found a post at Challies blog that really resonated with me. My post title is copied from it. Here is an excerpt that captures the heart of my thinkings on this:
I don't want God to romance me. I don't want God to be my lover. I don't need a boyfriend. I want God to be a Father--to be my Father. And after all, isn't this exactly how He reveals Himself in the Bible? ... I see God as a Father or as a shepherd. I see God as one who loves gently and patiently, but not romantically. God loves me as my father loves me (though certainly more completely and more perfectly), but I don't expect either one of them to send me little love notes. If either one did, I don't quite know how I'd react, but I can only imagine that I'd be distinctly uncomfortable.
As I learn more about God from studying the Scripture, I see in greater clarity the paternal qualities of God. And I love to find these. I love to learn more about God as Father, about God as one who loves and who loves completely. And I see little to convince me that God wants to woo me, to romance me, or to act the part of a lover. And I like it this way.
I think that Challie says it better than I did when I posted about feminine worship. I think that guys are generally uncomfortable with much of the romance language used in some religious circles. The imagery of romance just doesn't seem to fit when speaking about our heavenly Father or heavenly Brother.. but maybe I am missing something.. maybe someone can help me see this from a different perspective?


  1. I have always seen Him as a loving Father. Since I had such a wonderful example in my earthly, loving father it has always been easy for me in that regard.

  2. Ah Bob.

    This is a tough one.

    Why does anyone have to look at me and tell me how God doesn't love me? Why is it not enough to tell me He loves me like the perfect and wonderful Father that He is?

    Why does anyone have to tell me that God's romantic words to Israel shouldn't make me feel treasured? Why does anyone have to tell me that the Song of Solomon does not describe God's relationship to His bride?

    I am touched to think that God wants me to wear beautiful things for Him:
    Eze 16:17 Thou hast also taken thy fair jewels of my gold and of my silver, which I had given thee...

    Isa 62:5 ... and [as] the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, [so] shall thy God rejoice over thee.

    John 3:29 He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled.

    Why should anyone spend so much ink telling me not to appreciate God in the same way that He appreciates me?

    I praise the Lord for the message that He is His church's Father, and I praise Him for the message that He is His church's Bridegroom and one day will be His church's Husband.

    (Full disclosure: I'm a died-in-the-wool, hard-core romantic, and the romantic verses of the bible speak directly to my heart.)

  3. I hear what you are saying Kevin as long as we understand that "we" (not you or me) are the bride of Christ.. and that those verses are addressed to the nation of Israel and not to Israel the man.

  4. I dunno, KB. I think somehow you might have to come to grips with this one. What our Father did for the lot of us, He did just as equally for the individual. It stands to reason that all of the passages that refer to a coorporate body, also apply to the individuals in the body.

    Just my thoughts.

  5. I couldn't agree more, Bob. And when I sing a romantic song, it's a corporate experience for me.

    I've said this before somewhere, but I'll offer it up again here. There's not a single scriptural reference I can find for songs glorifying God "touching" us and showing His face to us and the like. I don't appreciate that turn of the whole worship movement, so I stand with that specific criticism.

    I just wish the criticism were a little more helpful. To say that God does not want to woo "me" (with the church) is simply not true. And when people are saying things that are not true in making their point, their point is weak. Instead, I'd like to see someone saying God woos us paternally, romantically, responsibly and to responsibility.

  6. Soooo glad someone else struggles with this. I know that Jesus is EVERYTHING, but the whole "Lover" thing kind of freaks me out.


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