The Lord gave. The Lord has taken away.
"Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong. (Job 1:20-22 ESV)
I find it interesting that Job is, in essence, saying that God took away his children ... a remarkable statement ... a cloaked accusation of sorts ... and an intersting segway into the whole question of "why?" and "Who?" If Job was not at fault for the death of his children then, as he implies, maybe God is at fault? I think that this is a common misunderstanding of the sovereignty of God and how life works. It points to a stumbling block in the grieving process.
I have never been happy with answers to unanswerable questions. I do not have to look back very far to understand that the answers I once embraced no longer make sense to me. For example, a dark ideology is embraced when I credit God (as I once did) for taking away my wife Ann's ability to walk. This ideology keeps me stuck and keeps me from grieving this loss. On the flip-side, I am able to walk in freedom when I let go of my need to have answers.
You, O Lord, are the Answer to our pain. Forgive us for looking for other answers.